Are you an asshole?

Top reasons people why people find you detestable.

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You’ve been there, you’ve thought about it… maybe even uttered it a few times. You know when… that moment in private conversation with your best friend, or your favorite colleague, in a gossip session or maybe in the privacy of your home, watching tv, surfing on facebook, going through your twitter timeline, the thing is that you, at any point of your life have succumbed to say: “Oh he/she is just an asshole!”

Don’t feel bad about it, we’ve all done it and yes, it feels good to say it. But have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe you’ve been acting like one?

Having met a few assholes myself and surrounded by a few of them on a daily basis, I consider myself somewhat of an expert. So I give you my top traits that make you such an unpleasant person.

Your word is holy, at least that’s what you think and you have no problem letting everyone know.

You have that person in your life… yeah, that one that considers the music it listens the best there is, the one that judges everything around and if you happen to disagree with the remark, belittles everything you say, even pointing out how ignorant or naive you are for having a different opinion.

You take the credit for things you didn’t do. 

I had a boss like this a looong time ago… He used to call me at any given time to perform any task, no matter how simple or idiotic it was, but there where times when he called for big important things, you know, those that could make you shine… and after spending an intense amount of hours getting things done I would send the information only to find out a few minutes later that he took the work, trimmed it down a bit and erased my name from all of the slides and presented the solution as its own. In my mind, “asshole” was the tamest of the words that came to my mind. I remember vividly using every inch of my body to hate him every time it happened, for this was an usual thing.

Like the energizer bunny, you promise and promise and promise and yep… promise even more.

Whenever you sit in front of your tv, or stand along with thousands witnessing a speech given by your favorite politician you get tired of listening to same promises.. “I will lower the taxes..”, “I will fix the roads…”, “I will create jobs…”, the list goes on forever, and it doesn’t only apply to politics, it applies to every aspect of your life… When your parents promise you to take you to Disney, or when your boss promises you to get you a raise, and it never happens. It is tough but at any point of your life this has happened and in all of the cases, the though has crossed your mind… “What an asshole!”.

In the end, there are many other traits for which you could be considered a detestable person, but if you don’t make an introspective analysis you will never find out, and worst you won’t be able to fix it. So it’s important to get feedback and check if you are today’s hot topic in the gossip arena!

And you, the one that always identifies the arse, make sure you are open and honest enough to let your friend, colleague, parent, sibling or family member know when they are acting inappropriately, for it will be the chance for them to grow.

Now, look yourself at the mirror ask the questions, and stop being such an ass!

Cheers,

Nick.- 

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3 steps to improve your life

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A period of change, my 3 steps to improve your life…

Being able to stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself it’s a difficult task. I’m not talking physically, I refer to the mental mirror where you stare right at the person that you are and start wondering which things you need to change. I recently decided to take a look and figure out which things are meant to be saved and which have to be left in the past.

In the end, I used my work and life experiences to come up with a simple, yet important list of things to do, in order to kick-start your life improving mission.

1. Identify…

Look at yourself from a 3rd person point of view, narrate every step you are taking, sometimes break the 4th dimension and look at the camera, and just offer a simple opinion of who you are, of what you are doing and if it’s worth saving. Like any project the first thing you need to do is Identify all the tasks, once identified you prioritize and organize them into groups and you take care of them following a plan. Identifying the tasks is vital; extrapolate this into your life and start fixing.

2. Commit…

You already know what to do, you already know what to fix and most importantly you already know how to fix it, but you rather go watch the game, or go out with your friends or procrastinate. We are all victims of the excuses we give ourselves to not do the things we need to in order to make our lives better. It’s a flaw we all humans share, the difference between those who get it and those who don’t is how committed we are to the goal. As Napoleon Hill once said “A goal is a dream with a deadline.” When you commit, do it for real, give it a date, give it a real purpose and remind yourself every day of the purpose and always have your goal in mind, this way you won’t lose the drive to keep on marching.

3. Feedback…

If you are smart enough to identify what’s wrong, and to do the things you find necessary to fix your problems, you are smart enough to know you are not in this alone. After you set your goals and set yourself into the road of improvement always pay attention to those around you who love you, who will put your needs first and respect you; because even though you are capable of noticing when things are happening, it’s good to have someone that will reassure you that you are in the right path.

In my case, I’m barely starting step 2, and it’s tough! I’m doing everything in my power to keep on marching.

Cheers,

Nick.-

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looking back, my ‘old’ year resolution

As 2012 is coming to an end, I can immediately expect in the media the classic headlines of new year’s resolutions; I consider this type of actions a bit blasé, even though, they hold a true meaning and a true sense of renovation for the starting year.

The problem, at least for me, is that no matter how happy you might be, or how much you promise things will be better in the new year, the shit you left behind in the past year still stinks, and you have to deal with it. So, I am totally aware that this course of action it’s very cute, warm and fuzzy; but there is a simple factor that sometimes we tend to avoid…why are we setting up the goals for the coming year, while we still have things pending from the ending year?

It’s a matter of organization – I think. I mean, you are not going to paint a house without cleaning it first. Or -normally- you would not put on your trousers, without some underwear on. What I’m trying to say is… how -or why-, will you enter phase 2, if you’re not even done with phase 1?

I’m going to do my bit now… I have 2 new year’s resolutions:
1. Find and document -be it twitter, facebook or instagram- a reason to be happy, hopeful or inspired,
and most importantly, 2. Finish up the things I have pending from last year.

So, if I wanted to lose weight, get on a diet, save money, get a car, get married, find a job, start a band, go traveling…etc. (the list is huge for some of us :-P ) in the past year, the first thing I’ll do, is check if I’ve reached those goals, and if not do the necessary changes and take the necessary steps to reach them.

So this is my manifesto: I’m nick, and my new year’s resolution is my old year resolution.

I hope that  2013 brings happiness to you. Happy new year!

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Just tell me

One of the biggest failures we have in life is the fact that we easily forget to really say what we feel.

Now, we rely very much in the social networks to express feelings and we lose the true connection of looking someone in the eyes and just saying how we feel. Sometimes it’s difficult to strip down the facebooks, the twitters, the instagrams…etc., and just voicing out the message our hearts really want to express.

Of course, I will never deny, that due to distance (mainly) looking someone directly in the eyes could be an issue, even with the facetimes, the tangos and the skypes… :)

My point is… that even if there are obstacles, even if its in writting because we could be shy, or if we buck up some balls and do it face to face, my goal this holiday is to truly express my true feelings to my friends and family, because I know that in our heads there are things we want to hear from each other, and it would be unfair for me to deny those who I love to know how much I do love them.

Hallmark did a great job embodying exactly what I was thinking, in this heartwarming commercial.

I just happen to really enjoy this video, I hope you have a great holiday!

Tell me that I did a good job,
Tell me we’ll always be together,
Tell me I’ve still got it,
…That our traditions matter.

Tell me you love me for who I am.
…That you can’t wait to be home.
Tell me you’re glad I’ve joined your family
…Even if I can’t be there this year.

Just tell me.

Happy Holidays!

nick.-

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Dare I?

Sometimes I wish I had a mind reader near me… yes, you read that right… Instead of being a mind reader I would rather have one read my mind. The truth is, that in life the we regret most the things we don’t say, instead of the words we do say. A friend told me once I am the owner of my thoughts, but not my words, because as soon as I tell them anyone and everyone can take them in the context they prefer, so nobody will ever understand the real essence of what I am really saying. In thoughts, we are humble, honest, direct, mean, selfish… the true self; yet we prefer to hide our reality in sarcasm, jokes, chuckles, nervous laughs, etc., and we forget that the first rule of being trusted, is being honest.

“I hate it!”, “I love you!”, “Shut up!”, “I need you!”, “I miss you!”, “Get off my face”… “Stop treating me like an idiot!”, “I rather not see you today”… Those are things we think and we would want to say everyday, but we contain them because they fire back reactions of those around you that would put you in a very uncomfortable position.

Normally I would encourage myself into saying what I’m thinking, but… it’s too big of a risk, and I fear that those people might not be ready to hear those words, so for the moment these words are my own, and I’ll keep them as safe as I keep my thoughts. It does bring a tad of satisfaction, those little secrets we keep, doesn’t it? Don’t you feel somewhat powerful… it’s as if you have all the right moves in all the right places, and that feeling… it’s interesting.

I will do something though, and this I encourage you to do… If you ever find someone, a friend, a family member, a lover… someone who you can really trust… open up, get everything out of your chest and give all of your secrets away, for it will free you and create an honest connection that will transcend.

And finally… being honest, and saying what you think, makes you a better person by the second… don’t ever lie to yourself, and don’t waste your time lying to others… being honest doesn’t mean being rude.

So to whomever that it’s out there… tell me what you want to hear, I may just give all my secrets away, or better… would you be my mind reader?

Good night,

Nick.-

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