Stuff – iThinkz

I woke up today feeling slightly better than yesterday, first of all, I didn’t have to wake up at 7:30 in the morning to just open the door to the girl that cleans, and also… my mom took my breakfast to my bed, which was amazing…
It was 10 minutes past 9, and the morning was very pretty. I took a shower, and started running errands with my parents, my dad let me drove… sooo yay! … He was effing scared, hahaha! But what can I say… anyone would be careful for their vehicle, and mostly if I’m the one steering (just kidding of course!…) But yeah, I was driving all over the place, we went to the grocery store, to the flower shop, we visited some friends of the family, and when we came back home, I had to organize my luggage, since I’m leaving today, as I usually do every sunday. Coming home, even though I complain a lot, it’s refreshing… Being able to see and talk face 2 face with my parents it’s always nice, just to hear how their week was, even if I heard it on the phone the previous days, it’s just being able to share with them, and to connect. On saturday (yesterday) I was supposed to hang out with my friends, but 2 things happened… they never called… (effing, f-ers!… hahaha) and I had family visiting, so I was distracted anyways… Then I recieved a phone call at 1:00 am… and I was of course getting ready to go to bed, so… yeah… home for me the whole weekend…

A couple of hours ago, a little after lunch, I walked out to the porch, and I was just staring at everything, and basically comparing it to my parking-lot view in my apartment in Santo Domingo, and I was for just a second mesmerized by the simplicity and the beauty of day and everything that was in front of me.

Sunny afternoon.

How cool is the shot of the sun, I can’t explain how I managed to the that shot, so powerful and peaceful.

Look at the blue sky covered by milky white clouds…

If you don’t like the quality of the pictures, blame my mobile phone, I don’t blame it cuz it’s cool…

Enjoy home, and enjoy your family… it’s cool.

nagh

I guess, I just got tired… To be really honest, lately I’ve been having problems sleeping and just organizing my stuff, and for me, someone who deliberately relies in it’s sense of organization, it’s too much… If you’ve read Harry Potter books, let’s just say that I need a Pensieve… Sometimes it’s just too much. First… I don’t know I am just in the constant fight of making everyone feel comfortable with me or around me, I remember the days when I was a normal prick who happen to be a genuine person that was likable and barely had any problems, I had of course a hell of a temper, I would usually come off as a Smart-ass (definition 1), but also, I was (still am) very understanding and fun to be around with, sadly in my constant need of approval I’ve lost some of my natural charisma, which now is hurting my overall personality, and I guess making some feel different or incredibly uncomfortable with me around, when usually I was the person everyone felt comfortable with. I guess it’s the mix, it’s the constant relation, it’s everything… that’s making living incredibly overwhelming. That’s why I’m doing the smart thing, I’m connecting and making good relations with others, I’m reviving friends from the past, and I’m making sure that those friends from the university and from school remember the good times, and of course, making sure not to feel (or make feel) uncomfortable my day 2 day friends, those who I share the most with, and those who I relate the most with. It also hurts, and more than one could ever tell… when 4 of my greatest friends are abroad… 2 married and 1 adventuring life in the States, and the other one just dealing with the hectic university life, those who always found a way to bring me back to my reality, those are gone… living, loving and… whatever… elsewhere. And I miss them… a lot.

So yes, there will be silences, there will be zoning out, there will be distance… More than ever I want to do good at work. Finally doors are opening in my benefit and hope to get the best of it… that’s why I want to remain focused and with a clear mind, that’s why relying on this thing is so good. Because I just vent… I just wish I had a pensieve.

In life, we are witnesses and we often are given the chance to make a difference, I believe I am one of those… And I’m sure those around me also are beautiful individuals who can change the world.

After having a conversation about a movie, with one of my friends… He agreed with the following line… “Why am I trying so hard to fit in, when I was born to stand out?” And from now on, that’s my motto… That’s my way of life… and my way of thinking… I’ve always been extroverted, loud, funny… etc. And I’m losing it, just because wanting to fit in. Not anymore… because you can stand out, and you can do what you want and what you are destined to do… You just have to respect others.

A little less than a year ago, I wished everyday that I could inspire people, just like my grandmother did. I feel that I am not fulfilling that mission, just because… I let myself go with the flow. If there is something I could do or say to make you change your life… I would say this… follow your gut, make sure to never hurt your friends in the process, and most important of all, be happy with who you are and what you have.

Family and friends are forever, but they feel and they suffer to, always make your family proud, and be at peace with those you call your friends… Life has many things in stored for us… why waste our time with petty drama, when we could be changing the world right now.

Yes, I am tired. Yes, I am overwhelmed… So?… It’s not the end of the world… it’s just life.

We live and learn, some stop learning… and you?

nagh

A veces hacemos el intento de querer ser invisibles, de pasar por un sitio sin provocar algun tipo de reaccion, de ser y estar por todo un dia en un lugar y ni sentirse… milagrosamente hay veces que uno puede lograr esa escena… pero hay veces que el intento es tan obvio que cae en estupido.. y mucho mas… cuando es algo recurrente… y vamos hacer la diferencia..  una cosa es estar increiblemente concentrado.. y ocupado.. que lo unico que uno quiere es silencio y hacer lo que tiene que hacer… y algo TOTALMENTE DIFERENTE! es… quere aspirar ha ser el chico invisible… a mi por ejemplo eso no me funciona… mi personalidad y la persona que soy tan burbujeante, ruidosa.. y tan notoria… un silencio de mi parte se nota… asi… que simplemente o estoy bien o estoy mal… y si es asi.. se nota y se sabe…

Pero nah… tenemos que aprender que no todas las acciones nos quedan bien… si hablar es lo tuyo habla… sino… cuando te pase algo no lo vamos a saber… si callar es lo tuyo calla pero please habla si te pasa algo… aunque cuando estes bien te vuelvas a callar… no creo que una nota suicida sea lo mas cool y lo ultimo que recordemos de ti… asi que habla de vez en cuando…

Later biotches…

nagh

Hace unos dias me preguntaron sobre esas cosquillitas que a uno le dan cuando se siente enamorado… yo pensaba que eso no era para mi… que nunca habia sentido eso porque en serio no creia que uno se podia sentir asi… pero vaya… respire hondo… bien hondo… y derrepente me llene de una felicidad… de una paz…

Son esos detallitos, sentarse uno al lado del otro acariciando sus manos, besando su cuello, y super cute es besarle la nariz, y en modo de susurro decirle al oido… “cuanto te quiero”…

No hay nada mas tierno que sentirte tan comodo y tan feliz estando con una persona… no hay nada mas cool que eso, porque te sientes completo… a la basura se puede ir el dinero, el estatus, todo eso… si no tienes con quien compartirlo… y es ahi cuando llegas a un nivel en el cual ya no puedes… ya es demasiado… es que tienes que estar feliz, porque ya no se puede ser mas feliz de eso… sentirte completo… que no te falta nada…

Verla todos los dias y decirle que lindo esta su cabello, porque aunque no sea verdad, para ti lo es… porque se ve radiante… que linda su sonrisa, que le ilumina la cara cada vez que sonrie… y que te ilumina a ti cuando la vez… Escuchar su voz revoluciona tu ser… te encanta su voz cuanto esta feliz, cuando esta de tonta… y hasta cuando esta molesta… porque si..

Las cosquillitas por ahi… son reales.

Y creo que asi es que se sienten…

nagh