Life: A project in the making

I want everything

jumboxboy — Tue, 24 May 2011 03:47:28 +0000

I want everything, I really do… Am I selfish because I want to do well in my job and earn big bucks? Am I selfish because I want to travel around the world in every vacation I take? Am I selfish because I want to be healthy and lead a good life but also have fun and go out and stuff? Am I selfish because I want to lead a great life with my girlfriend and get married and have kids?

I am pretty sure that there’s only one answer to those questions… Big fat NO… at least that’s what I think.

It’s not easy though, getting all that mentioned above would qualify as the perfect life, and since apparently things “too good to be true” are not meant for average Joe’s like me, I must be dreaming if I do want those things.

But you know what? That won’t stop me… If I refuse myself from becoming who I want to be and getting what I need (and like), then I won’t really experience the real meaning of growth… and the real meaning of wanting everything.

night.

am I back?

jumboxboy — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 20:00:29 +0000

This weekend has been quite inspiring… I guess there’s a mix of different feelings: anger, frustration, worry, guilt, sadness and more. It is very unlikely that you are able to spend a few days feeling like this and not wanting to jump from the nearest bridge or the tallest building around, but I guess the thing that makes us different is the fact that we are able to endure all of these feelings and still be able to survive (and by surviving I mean not even reaching into a point of complete dispair).

It’s been a while since words have flown in to my mind in a way that I could share. Heh… maybe I’m just bored or just out of it, but I haven’t had any interest or drive to just go on, but then… there are moments that I just take the advantage and put my mind into work.

I’m not saying that I will constantly post, heck.. I wish. But sometimes I just don’t feel like it, maybe… just maybe I’ll start posting again, or I’ll just try to open a new blog or try to do something different… You’ll see…

laterz,
nagh

An ode to 2010…

jumboxboy — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 21:51:26 +0000

I’m sorry… If I have failed you, disappointed you,
betrayed you, lied to you or even lied about, or in any way have
done something hurtful to you, I am truly sorry… As we grow older
(and somewhat wiser) we acknowledge our mistakes and we are able to
confront them with our heads held high. I know that in the last 365
days I’ve done wrong, and it is in my best interest to put those
things away. I have grown to be able to ask for forgiveness, have
you grown enough to forgive me? Thank you… For the times you’ve
been there whenever I needed you, and more importantly for being
there those days that I didn’t need you at all. Thank you for being
a father, mother, brother, sister, friend, family, co-worker,
estranger… Thank you for being everybody and nobody at the same
time, and I do hope to see you again… My commitment… I will do
everything in my capacity to become a better son, brother, friend,
co-worker, teacher, student… A better human being, so then, when
the new year comes to an end all the things we remember are the
good ones, and all the memories we have are cherished with the
utmost love. Perfection… In life we should set our goals into
become close to perfect in all it’s aspects, always paying
attention to never reach perfection, because in a world that
everything is perfect, what is there to live for? May the year 2011
be better than 2010… And may you be a better person than in
2010… Happy New Year! *positive energy* nagh

Tagged: 2010, 2011, forgiveness, goals, thanks

I’m not a blogger, I’m an occasional writer…

jumboxboy — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 03:40:38 +0000

Even when I decide that I want to dedicate time and thoughts, it doesn’t seem possible. I guess this takes more than I was willing to give, yet I come back… because I still like it, and I can’t deny how incredibly amazing it feels just to let go.

Lately, many things have passed and I decided to just let it flow and not be too controversial about it, I’m referring to my health… I’ve had issues, but slowly and gladly I’ve been healing and that is good, with 26 pounds gone… things are just looking fine ahead.

In my twitter account, I posted two words tonight, that I cannot get out of my head: ‘courage’ and ‘determination’… two very simple words that are surrounded with so much depth that it’s a little too much when you start thinking about them slowly and independently.

Courage -a quality of spirit that enables you to face danger or pain without showing fear- is just to remind me that everyday I am presented with new battles and new encounters that defy my way of thinking, acting and living. It is with courage that I am able to put a stop to things that are of harm, and also gives me the power to sit back, relax and face things with determination -the quality of being determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose- this craving of setting everything straight and just follow through and get things done, making sure that what I achieve is something that I want and something that I need.

Two words, two very simple words that without paying that much of attention can stir up your world and change everything you think about your life and how to lead it.

It’s weird how in the process of making this entry a phrase just pops into my head… ‘letting go’. With courage and determination you are able to let go of those things that hold you back, those decisions that you’ve lacked to make that turn all of your days into stages of mourning and discomfort, and yet you keep it, because you haven’t been courageous enough to determine that those things need to be left out and because of the constant fear of change, you don’t.

Once you let go, the good part comes… maybe not as quick as you would want, but it comes and there’s nothing more fulfilling than ‘embracing’ those things, those new things in life that are present to test our values and to turn us into the human beings we were destined to be.

Courage and determination…
Courage and determination…

nagh

sometimes… there’s time

jumboxboy — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 16:53:24 +0000

It came to a point in which I didn’t know if I was going to be able to keep up with everything that was happening. Being able to hang out with my friends, my family… do my job, it became a bit overwhelming, but slowly everything started getting together. I was able to dedicate time to my friends, and be able to keep up with my reading and with my tv shows. I was able to chill with my family while also having time for myself. It was grand. Still is.

But at times, when I was first getting used to everything that was happening… it was difficult, I felt I was leaving people behind and that I was focusing my energy on something else… but no, it was a natural reaction, it just synched.

For that, I am happy, because I’m able to be aware of what’s happening without going crazy or breaking promises.

laterz.